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Allah is Above Everything

That is a translation of “Allahu Akbar”. As a Moslem I do my prayers everyday and I cite this sentence a dozen times in my prayers. But I forget often times what it truly means. I get distracted by life shit.

  • Allah is greater than all the people that hate/hated/will hate me
  • Allah is greater than all the misfortunes that occurred/occur/will occur to me
  • Allah is greater than all the difficulties I have in life

I forget sometimes that there is one God above me that designed the whole universe. And I only blame myself for it. I only blame my weakness, my anxiety and frustration at times.

How can I forget that? How could I have occupied my mind with fucking stupid shit instead of concentrating on my prayers to Allah? Is it the devil dancing and messing with my thoughts? or is it a lack of confidence?

Yes, a lack of confidence, both self confidence and confidence in Allah.

Self confidence for me is not projecting a fake image anymore. It is not deepening your voice or moving slowly like a camel in a desert. I used to believe that was self confidence for a long time. “Fake it till you make it” I have read before.

When I pray, I am alone. And my mind takes me to a hundred places. I think about a lot of things at once. Sometimes the whole day rewinds in my mind while I pray. I often could not concentrate on giving the best prayer to Allah! That is a sign that my prayers are screwed. In fact, it is a sign that my self confidence is screwed.

My new definition of self-confidence goes like this: if I were self-confident enough, I would have firmly believed that I will solve all my problems sooner or later, and have a pure mind during my prayer time.

I would disrupt the train of thought just when I raise my hands and say “Allahu Akbar”.

It is a sense that should come from inside not outside. Nobody is borrowing me his self confidence! You can not learn it from a book either!

It should come from repetitive exercise of the mind and body, that lead to a feeling of merit. ” Yeah, I did the best I could today” type of feeling.

If I had enough confidence in me, and to a bigger extent in Allah, I would have never worried about life problems, no matter when they happen and how big they are, because they are only part of life, and life was created by Allah.

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